HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Its been awhile since I've posted on here maybe not that long but it feels like it. Within the past month I've had some adjustments to my life. I don't feel the need to go into details but I'm hoping to come out as a more defined person. With that being said I feel the need to do all that I've always wanted to do or to become all that I want to be and then some. I need to be greedy when it comes to myself. I'm pretty good at adapting, perhaps too good because in the process I feel I have lost a part of myself, my being. Even though I haven't been writing on here much I still read other peoples and I feel I can relate. It is very enlightening and I just wanted to thank you all for sharing your feelings and thoughts with me intentionally or not.

Seattle I have been during the past 10 days. It was amazing that it gave me a couple of afternoons of no rain. Seattle is a rainy rainy city in the winter and that is the part I do not like. However, everytime when I land in Tacoma airport, my heart soars with relief because I know I have some people there with me...my friends.

Direction

Its amusing how something so small can trigger a much larger concept. I still believe that everything happens for a reason but what if the reason you originally thought was behind the occurrence is actually the complete opposite of what you initially thought. What if you thought it was a sign of hope or whatever it may be but your energy was focus in the wrong direction leading you away from where you're trying to go. Do you turn around and go in the opposite direction or do you continue on the same path. What I thought was right was actually wrong and it is actually pulling me further away from my destination. I think it was a sign that I misread. Lost in confusion, trapped in despair I think I opened the wrong door. I need to turn around and go in the other direction. It is never too late. The only mistake I can make is if I never turn around.

How do you touch someone who can't feel ?

The pix does not look like related to the topic. I just love to share my favorite work of photograghy with everybody. It's original without PS except resizing.

Though, I do have the question as topic. Any opinions, please!

Where Am I Going?

I am back to blogging, well, semi-back b'cos I have not got the whole project done after such a bitter short-long week!!!! I hate it! I hate it more when I was thrown into this crap situation by someone I had tried to help and I had tried to trust when my intuition and existing bad experiece warned me NOT to!!! Anyway, I have to go through this. I hope this time I take lesson!!!!!!!!

I came upon a revelation regarding life. You kinda have to think...what the hell are we working towards??? Are we working to eat, to have a home to go to, to have a fancy car to drive? It just occurred to me that I shouldn't just be working, but I should be working towards something--otherwise all the time that I spend at work is senseless.

I've always wanted to become rich and successful, probably like most people. I had different goals than most though--I wanted to live by myself in my penthouse apartment in the middle of NYC. I wanted to be one of those people who worked off their cell phones and didn't have to be at work at 9am. My phone would ring off the hook from people who are asking for my opinion or decision. That was my dream.

I guess I've been working towards that dream and I'm getting there in a different way. I'm getting phone calls early in the morning until late at night. I'm making work runs until midnight. I'm answering e-mails well into the early hours of the day. I'm working nights, weekends, and while I sleep I dream about work.

So I've come to question, what is it really all about? Is it a boundary issue that I need to face? Is it the job I have? Or is the the person I choose to be? Maybe it's because I'm in love, or maybe it's because I grew up and realized that my dream is a stupid dream. But either way, I'm questioning the way I live. I'm really starting to think if it is worth it.

I've thought about just limiting my work hours but I can't do it. I can't do it because things won't get done, and when things don't get done...I can't rest. And besides, you can't downgrade without someone saying something to you. I know that if I stop working after hours, someone will say something. So, I've decided that I don't need to work. I don't need to work because I no longer have the need to be rich and successful. I just want to be able to eat dinner without a phone call from work.

I noticed yesterday that when work calls me, I pick up right away. But when my mom calls me, I silence her call. I think there's something wrong there. I need to re-prioritize my life.

Last Blog until Next Thursday

I was amazed by its flaming red leaves in the later September,California.

ok, now---

My Rant:

Having given all my generous trust, I end up being humbugged by some people whom I have heartfully devoted myself to help. It is just ridiculous! Well, it is my fault since i should not have trusted them in the first place!!!! What a world!

In the result, I have to go to cover the sh** A** for those f*** morons!!!!Why it's like that!!!!????????????? Sorry guys for the language.I am simply raged!!!!

OK! When you are being trusted, treasure it and do things decently! Don't spoil it PLEASE, for everyone's sake!!!!

Fall...