Will You Take Me Seriously?

2005-12-23T23:44:00.000-08:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Its been awhile since I've posted on here maybe not that long but it feels like it. Within the past month I've had some adjustments to my life. I don't feel the need to go into details but I'm hoping to come out as a more defined person. With that being said I feel the need to do all that I've always wanted to do or to become all that I want to be and then some. I need to be greedy when it comes to myself. I'm pretty good at adapting, perhaps too good because in the process I feel I have lost a part of myself, my being. Even though I haven't been writing on here much I still read other peoples and I feel I can relate. It is very enlightening and I just wanted to thank you all for sharing your feelings and thoughts with me intentionally or not.

2005-12-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

Seattle I have been during the past 10 days. It was amazing that it gave me a couple of afternoons of no rain. Seattle is a rainy rainy city in the winter and that is the part I do not like. However, everytime when I land in Tacoma airport, my heart soars with relief because I know I have some people there with me...my friends.

Direction

2005-11-24T07:51:00.000-08:00

Its amusing how something so small can trigger a much larger concept. I still believe that everything happens for a reason but what if the reason you originally thought was behind the occurrence is actually the complete opposite of what you initially thought. What if you thought it was a sign of hope or whatever it may be but your energy was focus in the wrong direction leading you away from where you're trying to go. Do you turn around and go in the opposite direction or do you continue on the same path. What I thought was right was actually wrong and it is actually pulling me further away from my destination. I think it was a sign that I misread. Lost in confusion, trapped in despair I think I opened the wrong door. I need to turn around and go in the other direction. It is never too late. The only mistake I can make is if I never turn around.

How do you touch someone who can't feel ?

2005-11-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

The pix does not look like related to the topic. I just love to share my favorite work of photograghy with everybody. It's original without PS except resizing.

Though, I do have the question as topic. Any opinions, please!

Where Am I Going?

2005-11-17T13:36:00.000-08:00

I am back to blogging, well, semi-back b'cos I have not got the whole project done after such a bitter short-long week!!!! I hate it! I hate it more when I was thrown into this crap situation by someone I had tried to help and I had tried to trust when my intuition and existing bad experiece warned me NOT to!!! Anyway, I have to go through this. I hope this time I take lesson!!!!!!!!

I came upon a revelation regarding life. You kinda have to think...what the hell are we working towards??? Are we working to eat, to have a home to go to, to have a fancy car to drive? It just occurred to me that I shouldn't just be working, but I should be working towards something--otherwise all the time that I spend at work is senseless.

I've always wanted to become rich and successful, probably like most people. I had different goals than most though--I wanted to live by myself in my penthouse apartment in the middle of NYC. I wanted to be one of those people who worked off their cell phones and didn't have to be at work at 9am. My phone would ring off the hook from people who are asking for my opinion or decision. That was my dream.

I guess I've been working towards that dream and I'm getting there in a different way. I'm getting phone calls early in the morning until late at night. I'm making work runs until midnight. I'm answering e-mails well into the early hours of the day. I'm working nights, weekends, and while I sleep I dream about work.

So I've come to question, what is it really all about? Is it a boundary issue that I need to face? Is it the job I have? Or is the the person I choose to be? Maybe it's because I'm in love, or maybe it's because I grew up and realized that my dream is a stupid dream. But either way, I'm questioning the way I live. I'm really starting to think if it is worth it.

I've thought about just limiting my work hours but I can't do it. I can't do it because things won't get done, and when things don't get done...I can't rest. And besides, you can't downgrade without someone saying something to you. I know that if I stop working after hours, someone will say something. So, I've decided that I don't need to work. I don't need to work because I no longer have the need to be rich and successful. I just want to be able to eat dinner without a phone call from work.

I noticed yesterday that when work calls me, I pick up right away. But when my mom calls me, I silence her call. I think there's something wrong there. I need to re-prioritize my life.

Last Blog until Next Thursday

2005-11-09T12:30:00.000-08:00

I was amazed by its flaming red leaves in the later September,California.

ok, now---

My Rant:

Having given all my generous trust, I end up being humbugged by some people whom I have heartfully devoted myself to help. It is just ridiculous! Well, it is my fault since i should not have trusted them in the first place!!!! What a world!

In the result, I have to go to cover the sh** A** for those f*** morons!!!!Why it's like that!!!!????????????? Sorry guys for the language.I am simply raged!!!!

OK! When you are being trusted, treasure it and do things decently! Don't spoil it PLEASE, for everyone's sake!!!!

Fall...

2005-11-08T15:14:00.000-08:00

How I am In Love

2005-11-06T15:18:00.000-08:00

I was rambling around on blogs just now and stopped by at .Qatar Cat's site (Very nice blog n Thanks! btw, I don't know how to get a link to her blogname. Anyone can help me? thankssss). So then, I took that tag about "How You Are In Love". Here it goes:

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.
You tend to take more than give in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Now, people, I have to decline that the second part becaues it is SO untrue about how I am in love. And it apparently is conflicting to the last part. Don't you think?

Saved By the Bell

2005-11-05T00:14:00.000-08:00

Ok I was at the department store today and this Hispanic woman comes up and starts yelling, "Excuse me, excuse me!" So obviously, I'm thinking that I may have dropped something or have something embarrassing hanging onto the back of me, so I turn around. I'm looking at suits, and she comes from the BCBG section to talk with me. She comes up behind me and seems out of breath. She probably runs about 25 feet towards me. Already, I'm wondering what she has to say.

She asks me if I’ve ever seen a psychic, and I say, "no, and I’m not interested, don’t want to get involved in that kind of stuff, thank you," and I proceed to walk away. She stops me and says that the spirits can’t let me go without telling her me that my aura is extremely bright. This lady says it FOUR freakin' times, and is oogling her eyes wide open at me. And what the hell is that statement supposed to mean anyway? And where is the department store crowd for once when I actually need them?! I wanted to get away. I'm not too bright when it comes to fortune telling/voodoo/witchcraft stuff. Also, keep in mind that I’m starting to freak out. Then she tells me she needs to tell me two more things...one which was nice, and the other that seemed really off. I didn't even respond to anything. She could tell I wanted to go. She then gives me her business card, which is a struggle for me to take, then starts urging me to call the number on her card cause she has a lot more to tell me. Her voice is shrieking at this moment. Was I being harassed?

Luckily, I was saved by my ringing cell phone. Right now, I'm thinking she did the whole act as a marketing tactic and that she probably does and says the same exact thing to everyone. But for once, I can be thankful that my cell phone was useful today. Despite the fact that I just ended up with eight messages that were three days old, I still love my phone. I should name my phone the way guys name their cars.

This is too much

2005-11-03T15:41:00.000-08:00

I took the bus this morning to a meeting. It's the easiest and most convenient way to get there. Sometimes I feel completed jaded cuz nothing gets my attention on road. However, there are some things that make me go "woah..." This was one of those things...

I was riding the bus this morning, minding my own business, when all of a sudden, I noticed this woman accross from me grooming herself. Now as a woman myself, there is just as much tendancy for me or as much as the next woman to do that. I mean it's easy to take that advantage, take out a mirror, fix your powdered nose, eye make up, you're good for work, looking fresh. But it's not me, anyway.This woman, sitting accross from me begins to put on her lipstick--but not just put it on in 10 seconds or so, she took about 2.5 minutes to just put it on. I gotta tell ya people--this is more for the ladies of course, if you put on lipstick like I do, 2.5 minutes is quite a long time to "perfect" the lips. She even began to lightly dab each section of her lips. But ok, nothing big, we're on the bus, can get bumpy on the ride right?Next, Eyeliner-- Dang she's good, Even I'm scared to poke my eye with those eyeliner pens. What if we drive over a huge bump? Oh then she'll be sorry. She is a master that I can only strive for, or just absolutely lucky.

And then, Mascara--Nothing special here. She put it on like the eyeliner and believe me, it was quite amazing to watch. No pokes in the eyes, perhaps a lil to many layers for my taste but perhaps that's another trend.

Last step, the most unexpected step--she decides to take some tissue, and start cleaning out her ears. And not just lightly, she goes in Deep, takes out the tissue, looks at it, proceeds again, looks at it, and follows the same steps with the other ear. Now that is just wrong.

There was another passenger next to her desparately trying very hard to look away, look down, close her eyes, look anywhere but to not watch this intimate act. Oh wow, what if some of the ear crap she was cleaning out fell on that passenger, Gross. o_0 Mind you, it was a crowded bus as it is every morning.This woman turned the bus into her bathroom and that's just fabulous...I did not enjoy watching that, but YET, I had to......that killed my breakfast appetite this morning and it made me realize, I'm just too easily amused when it comes to shock value...

Life Is Still Going On

2005-11-02T14:42:00.000-08:00

" Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth."
- By Unknown Author

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down, probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once. You will break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you will eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt b/c every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute you'll never get back...

Why bother?

2005-10-30T21:22:00.000-08:00

I had hoped to visit a friend yet never could make it.We used to be very close friends back to high school time. Thing's changed since I don't know when... The girl seems never answer her cell and not even calls us back after I leave tons of voice messages.

She explains,after long disappearing from time to time, she feels somebody's tracing her and spying on her because she has a live-in boyfriend whose race is different than hers. She fears if her parents find out she lives with him, her all family would feel humiliated. Plus, she does not think she would marry that guy! So, she acts like she's living underground, or say, that guy is a underground lover. I have always been curious if a relationship is not treated promisingly or given a hope for future, why do they bother to even LIVE together??? I always wonder how that guy would feel when his live-in girlfriend forces him hidden when her parent in town? What is a relationship all about? Is it just a temp company when one feels lonely ?

Diwali...

2005-10-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Get life a light...

Life is beautiful...why am I getting bored?

2005-10-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

Give me a hint, then, I will think...